Australia… it’s big! Didn’t even dent it so can’t pretend to advise but here we go with a few observations.
Strangely familiar, yet utterly different.
Men actually wear Ugg boots!
Rent a really big car!
WiFi is a basic human right. The lack of it is an indicator of poverty and is entirely your fault. Kids are quieter with it, so make provision. Vodafone in Brisbane did 35gb for $15! Buy one and tether.
You can’t buy booze in a supermarket and you can’t buy mixers in a bottle shop!! Unless it’s Aldi for some strange reason.
The answer to “are we there yet?” Is invariably “NO!”
Go to the Hunter Valley if you like wine. If wine isn’t your thing there’s beer, vodka, gin and chocolate!
Apparently “cellar door” means they do tastings. There won’t be an actual cellar in sight.
Walking between tastings is a good thing!
Walk past the cellar doors that charge a fiver to taste.
Buy something if u like the wine, it’s rude not to.
For a place that prides itself on being informal and relaxed, there are rules about everything and everybody sticks to them.
– Park pointing the right way!
– Walk in the left hand side of the path!
– Speed limits!!!
– Bio security!!!!
– Apparently you can’t buy booze if accompanied by a minor.
Sydney airport is amazing! Everything you need and car hire return by the front door!
One kangaroo looks pretty much like the next, you only need one photo.
Cockatoos and parrots are as plentiful as pigeons in Trafalgar Square.
“A cockatoo” is a good punchline for a joke.
The velociraptor of food steelers is the ibis – don’t give them even one of your Mac Donald’s chips! They’ll want the lot and tell their mates!
Eating out is expensive.
Sydney is a great walking tour.
Even better is the slow ferry to Manly. Sit on the back on the way out and the front on the way back.
The back and the front look the same, so use your brain to work out which is which.
The view is terrific. Come back at night if you can.
Blue mountains are a must, bus tour rules apply.
Plan enough time for a walk and you will bust the floor counter on your iPhone.
Everybody goes to Wentworth falls and Three Sisters. Sublime Point doesn’t appear to be on the bus route and is a fantastic view at sunset.
The trains in Sydney are brill and you can just ping your contactless credit card, but make sure you don’t have transaction charges.
Train seats flip so you can always face forward. Sydney dwellers look at you like you’re mad if you face the wrong way, particularly if you’re facing them!
Fraser Island!!!!!!! Best fun of the holiday! Sand island with rain forest, lakes and a 70km beach you can drive on (in a 4*4). But even there you can’t escape the bus tours!
Bus tour rules explained – for Fraser, Bus tours come in at $239 per person. Renting a 4*4, fuel, barge crossing, permits & insurance $595 with enough space for 7 adults and 100 times the fun! Why would ya? Just sayin! This theory holds true for all bus tours!
The 4*4 has the added advantage of getting your steps and floors up to 15k and 150 floors without leaving your seat (it’s bumpy)- the ladies should think about a sports bra though!
People in Sydney think it’s cold at 20 degrees. 20-25 in Brisbane! For me, go in their winter and you won’t miss our summer!
They’ll look at you like you’re a tit for wearing shorts in the winter.
Tour rules are suspended for the great barrier reef. A snorkel experience is an absolute must but the reef is protected so you need to go on an organised tour and Lady Musgrave do their best to make sure you don’t feel part of a big group.
Brisbane airport is a living hell on Earth.
